Some Poetry Related to Trauma and My Experiences I - Sonnet Collection

I

Dusty lighting glistens through the window to the city
I look out as my mind goes from great pace to slow crawl
For much times I have been searching for a place less busy
To allow my soul quiet withdrawal

I sit here searching for a muse to make immortal
Rack my being, spinning anxiety through my body
I begin to think thoughts one could consider abnormal
My clarity is lost, mind becomes foggy

Returning to my senses I realize something
That I'd long since forgotten but also known all along
A realization that only angels to me may sing
To me there is not a more beautiful yet simple song

The peace I find myself unconsciously immersed in
Is the inspiration that truly shows how I feel within

II

When blazing day turns to tired night
I return to my quarters to rest my bones
But the part of me that is more exhausted from light
Is my mind, which has been rummaging through itself alone

In my bed my thoughts continue to spin
Up high spirals and into festering depths
I wrack my mind and bemoan the sin
Hoping that I will find the answer that will shallow my breath

After enough searching, I see a bright light that will make me whole
I rediscover something about myself, how I'd forgotten it I wonder
My body relaxes and peace shrouds my soul
With eyes shutting, I descend into my slumber

In the morning I awaken, with a saturated brain
Knowing that I will have to do all of this again

III

We'd met when the leaves turned a bright red
And the curtain was pulled back
The lines that I was to speak to you, all in my head
Sung from my mouth, to be responded to in track

Winter marched in and the snow fell hard
Yet our drama continued without a hitch
Spring danced in and, at the hidden tears, seemed alarmed
Soon summer strolled along, pointing out the fatal glitch

Cinders of the theater we'd constructed
Fly off into the sky
We torched the building, the play was interrupted
And all that is left is you and I

I bring my hand to your face and peel off the mask
To see you for who you truly are is what your eyes now ask

IV

As we come into this fortuitous, forsaken hut
So that I may bandage the wounds that your soul carries
A thought occurs, I must not share, for it may cut
The kinship we've built, through many years weary

You are not being forgotten in my journey
For the pendant of your pain hangs on my neck
To make the pilgrimage I must awaken early
While your anxious body struggles, sleep a wreck

We have been called to do the feathered one's bidding
But it is clear that you must be left behind
I will carry our father's gift, that which he thought befitting
And allow the sorrow which has bound us both to unwind

In the light beyond the mountains I see sanctuary
Self-realization awaits us, from this miserable penitentiary